One year and seven months...

Ryan and I started trying to get pregnant a year and a half ago... It has been so hard. I have been to three doctors, two that have just prescribed fertility drugs and sent me on my way, but this last one has given me such hope, Dr. Lundell. He was the first Dr to really let me know what was going on with my body. I was diagnosed with Polysytic Ovarian Disease, I wasn't sad about this news, its weird but that news was almost a relief to me. For once I just felt like I wasn't broken or a disappointment. I have never even had a Dr hint that I might have this, my sister has it, but I had just become pregnant with Finley so I just thought that I was a failure not that I had a condition that would make it more difficult to conceive. I am happy today, I have hope that maybe after my body gets all leveled out that I may be able to have the blessing of another child!!! I am so grateful to Dr. Lundell and to my mom who really kept pushing me to call and get an appointment!!! We have a long road a head of us but at least I know more about what is going on with my body than I did before!

Catch up

 We went to Oregon this year. It was so much fun to see where Ryan grew up and to go on all the beautiful hikes that are in Oregon!! We were there for a week Finley really enjoyed spending time with her grandparents!

 Finley was in mini cheer in Delta, she wasn't all about the cheering but had a great time with her cousins and is still doing the cheer now for everyone to hear!

 

 We went on a walk and Ms. Diva needed to sit in the shade so that she could rest! ha ha it was so cute. We have been walking to the 7-11 that is by our house for slurpee's and diet pepsi!

 I graduated with my associates degree with high honors! I am glad to have accomplished this...Finally!

 This and the above picture, is well Finley got into my eye liner!! She was quiet for to long.... and this is what you find when your three year old is to quiet! She looked Gothic for about three days, got some great looks!

 Our family reunion, they got Ryan to participate in the pie eating contest. He didn't win but it was his favorite kind of pie, banana cream, so it was a win for him!

 Finley turned THREE, her grandma Wendy got her make-up she loved it! She also loved helping daddy with his makeup before work also!

 This is what I wake up to at least once a week, Finley has come into our bed. snuggled to dad, and they sleep identical!! Its creepy how much they are alike.

 Finley's birthday breakfast, she wanted diet pepsi, eggs and bagel!

 She had already had a birthday cake for her party, so we went to the bakery and I asked her what treat she would like for her birthday, which is what we have been doing for her on her birthday, our own little tradition.

 This is Sandy, our friends dog, and the greatest nanny ever! Finley loves when we get to go visit her and begs to go always!

Ryan, Ben and this lady were in a golf tournament this summer, I just love this picture!

We have had a busy summer, lost of family and friends time, we went boating a bunch (Thanks Maggie, Ryan and John)! Spent most weekends in Delta, which has been great for Finley to have cousins always around. Alot more has happened and we have been just playing catch up with everything so it may take some time before I have it all up on the blog! But I will be going private this week, don't like having weirdo's looking at my blog!

 Me, Maggie Miriam and Crystal all ran the Dirty Dash this year, it was so much fun! We took a waterproof camera with us but I haven't gotten around to scanning them! I will though

 Finley just playing at the Rez!! She loves water a lot.

 It was Ryan's birthday this month!! We had a great little party for him, thanks to all that came! He is so amazing and not just cause it was his birthday, but everyday!! He puts up with all my craziness, and there is a lot of it as of late! We are on our second month or our second try of fertility pills. First we tried Clomed for three months, obviously it didn't work! So this time our Dr decided to try Famara, we tried it last month, it didn't work, I have to get my blood taken every month to see my ovulation range, last month I was at a 9 optimal range is 11, but they were hopeful that I might get pregnant. Well here it is month two and this pill makes me so sensitive, I cry at nothing, really I was on the treadmill running and a commercial for optum came on with the little girl and her liver transplant, just crying running it was horrible. And of course there is the what would you do?, cry like a little baby when people step in!! I have cried before every Chem test and just been so crazy and Ryan just says "thank you for trying to get pregnant for us," he is just so cute!! I love him so much!!

 Fish Lake 2012!!! Kodi and Finley

 Finley was not impressed with the fish at first!! But we had so much fun, it took my whole body to  reel in the first!

 She warmed up to them though!!

That my big first I caught Oh YA!! Thanks Kris for letting us crash in your trailer!

 FINLEY IS THREE!!!! We had a wonderful party for her in Delta. Do you see this amazing cake?!??? A close wonderful friend made it for her, it was so special to have, everything was edible! Thank you so much Darla you are so amazing!!

 Finley couldn't wait to really dig into her cake, she kept stealing frosting from the bottom! Also when we were trying to lite the candles she had a sneezing fit ha ha right by the cake!

 Look at this amazing amazing cake!!!!

 Finley at first was kissing her giraffe, below, but then she just wanted to have a little taste of it! It was so cute she shared with all her cousins and her Great Gpa!!

And we also tasted it!! We had a wonderful party, it was super funny I was making homemade pizza for the dinner. I asked my mom to use her yeast, I didn't bring mine down with me. Well as I start making the pizza it was different, I couldn't decide what it was but my dough would usually rise a little and it would be fluffy and nice. Not this dough I had already mixed up three batches and it was not good!! I cook two of them, people ate them but they just were not my usual delicious pizza. I looked at the yeast, it said best used by: August 1994!!! 18 years, are you serious mom, 18 years to keep it!! Ah, Ryan made this comment which I thought was really funny, "do you know that you were probably with your mom, a small child when she bought this and now you are using it to make Finley her birthday dinner!!!" How funny is that I was seven when we purchased that, and now my three year old shared in it also!!

Finley is such a character, says and does the craziest things, her favorite thing is riding her bike that she got on her birthday!! We go on bike rides during the day and she'll ride for miles!! She has been potty trained since March, we had to use the cold shower method, but she went from not wanting to pee in the potty to fully trained, even through the night!! It is the best so much easier without diapers!! She talks all the time, singing and dancing all day! She also is a princess, she dresses herself and she wants to wear dresses and her fluffy skirts, makeup, always! I just love her!! Happy birthday Finley.

For Good.

As I am I listening to this song ( http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uzrGFQysfYU&feature=fvwrel ) I can't help but think of my "Homegirls"! In the picture above is Ellie, I met her at Snow College my first year there, she has been such an amazing example in my life, she is the first person that took me to church since I had stopped going when I was 11, it wasn't her throwing it down my throat as it had been done before it was just a simple invite. She shared her testimony with me on several occasions and I still can remember the strong spirit that was present. Ellie and I had one whole semester with just me and her, she showed me how to cook and clean (Ryan thanks you). She and I got pregnant at the same time and had our daughters one day apart. She is so amazing I can't even express how much she means in my life. I will never forget all the positive she showed me about life, she changed me for good because I know her!
These are the Homegirls, so many memories with each of them. Sarah, also met her my first year, then I was her roommate the second year(she loved my lamp, just ask her and Typon), she is one of the strongest, sweetest girls I know. She helped me through a rough part in my life, without judgement(even when I was completely CRAZY), I know that no matter what she is there for me. I have been change for good, because I know her.

Shalie, the craziest, funniest girl ever. We share a deep love of music, always jamming out, even when her CD player got stolen out of her car, boombox all the way to Blanding!! She is always smiling and wanting to have fun in any situation I know that she will think of something wonderful in it! Happy Feet six times?!? ok.... Ni Nove Nou!! I have been changed for good, because I know her!

Nik Nak, All I want for Christmas is You, sung at the top of our lungs all across Snow Campus!! I think she still has a wonderful dance video that we all made one late late night, thanks Red ha ha! I have been changed for good, because I know her.

Hayley!!! She is my roommate from my first year at College, and I know that without her I wouldn't have made it that year!! She is from my hometown and I think I talked to her a handful of times through out High School and then we got this brilliant idea to be roommate, best choice EVER!!! Hayley and I shared so many experiences, she is the first person that I went clubbing with, even in a snow storm and a 360 on the freeway!! Helping out neighbors use there milk and cereal before it went bad...ha ha!! Hayley and I had so many sleep overs cause we would get scared, she made me feel at home!! I have been changed for good, because I know her!

I love each of these girls more than memories or words could ever communicate. I think of them always, and I know that even though we don't talk every day that they love me and will always be apart of my life! Thank you all for the wonder examples and the friendship that you have so graciously given me. I love you!

Finley will randomly put this tutu on over whatever she is wearing and just tromp around the house! Its so cute.

New things that have happened in our family, we moved, yet again!! But we moved to an area that we LOVE!! Daybreak, its such a cute community. My family was so amazing, top notch is my mom, she came up to take care of me after my surgery and packed up my whole house, she is amazing!! My surgery was elective, one that I have wanted forever!! Got my boobs done! It was a lot more painful than I thought but except for being bruised and my underarm's being in pain still they are WONDERFUL!! I have been really really bummed about not being able to get pregnant, and as my girl Hayley pointed out well at least now you have twins!! I am still trying to be positive about the whole thing, but it gets hard that we conceived so easily with Finley and now its impossible! We have been looking into adoption or foster care, we really want another child and for Finley to have a sibling. Ryan is such an amazing dad and he truely deserves more children, he gets so excited thinking about all that we could experience with our family, sports, vacations, holidays and so much more. Finley needs a sibling, NEEDS one, she is so playful and dramatic she needs someone to pick on and fight with and experience all the joys of siblings. I love all my siblings, they are crazy and mean but no one else has me back like them, I know through all of life they will love me like no one else, Finley deserves that! I hope one day we get the opportunity to have another child and Finley to have a sibling.

Funny things Finley has done lately:

~She doesn't call me Mom or Ry Dad anymore, its babe or honey

~She is very clever, Ryan bought candy and she asked for one, so he said just one and handed it to her in her right hand and she opened her left hand and said just one, for her left hand!

~She has been going poop in the toilet for about 5 months now and so we got her pull ups and she has been doing so good, I am going to try real panties tomorrow.

~We were watching a movie and Ry walked out of the room, so instead of having to recap all he missed I pushed pause, Finley threw her arms out say, "oh come on, the movie," So funny!

~This may be TMI but oh well, Ry had gas the other day, and he came laughing down the stairs, really busting up and he says this to me. " Finley just smelled her first fart!" She usually just laughs and yells daddy fart ew gross. But this time she smelled it for real, she was not impressed, grabbed her nose and would not let go!!

~She also says "Hey dude" for everything

~She gives doggie loves where she just rubs her head and face against our head and face, or Kitty loves where she takes her hands and caresses you like a cat does with its paws.

~The other day she threw her hands behind her back and started jumping up and down yelling piggy piggy, and then hunched over and jumped up and yelled giraffe giraffe!

I seriously love this girl so much. So many things that we haven't written down are lost now but these are just a few hilarious things that we want to remember for when she starts dating!!